The Curtis Clan - Winter 2023
Winter Solstice to Spring Equinox
Winter Break
Winter Break was just that for the Curti with Randy having 2 weeks off, Jane having 3 weeks home and Cate having a full month off. Bethany wasn't exactly off but her workload was about half of what it normally was for much of the period so lots of family togetherness all under one roof again.
So what did we do with all the time off? Not a lot to brag about with the single words of: relaxing, chilling, or hanging being enough. This was particular true the days before Christmas when a lengthy cold snap settled in and temperatures were in single digits. staying cozy warm was a major goal with blankets, dogs and the warm glow of the fake fire on the tv in the family room. There was lots of comfort movie watching like: You Got Mail, Christmas Vacation, The Thin Man, Meet Me In St Louis, Glass Onion, While You Were Sleeping and She's All That.
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Jane making cookies and Cate staying out of the way
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It was fun having the kids around to run errands for mom (e.g., grocery store runs, last minute gifts) and go along with our errands like taking the Kia in for recall service (hour round trip each way) or bargain booze shopping at Sam's. Bethany and the girls make cookies and holiday treats (chocolate covered peanut clusters) in the days before Christmas.
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Bethany making peanut clusters
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Sagemas
The first day of Sagemas, the entire St. Louis family gathered on Christmas Eve at Amy and Alvan's condominium. A full house for the soup dinner entrees with no shared illness being shared made for a bonus win this year.
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Sagemas Eve Table (Note: Jane and Cate got promoted to the adult table)
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Sagemas Eve Table Other end
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Without Alvan's needing to leave at 9 to sing in the choir this year, the evening's traditional tempo got off track with chatting and the readings of Matthew and Luke and caroling didn't start until 9 as opposed to being done by that point.. The parents with Santa duties eventually pointed out that things were running long.
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Sagemas Eve kids table
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The girls and the dogs are ready to hang stockings for Santa to fill
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Christmas Day
The Curti Christmas was mellow with a late morning gift exchange, followed by a day of lounging, watching TV and our traditional spinach lasagna dinner.
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All 4 girls ready to come down see what Santa has brought them
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Christmas Curti
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The girls with gnome ornaments that match their jammies
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On Wednesday, 28 December Jane and Randy ran errands including gift shopping for the St. Peters Sages Rob Your Neighbor (RYN) game. Finding Sam's hard liquor shot Advent calendars and the 40 pack Yard of Fireball there were within the expected exceedance of the suggested spending guide were a score. Visiting with family at the St Peter's Sages gathering is always a treat. A STL Cardinals hockey jersey (a Busch stadium promotional give away) was the top choice during the RYN game, being stolen practically every round, several times in some cases, though we were gratified to have our offerings "stolen" a few times as well.
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St Peters Sages Panorama
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St Peters Sages - "It's better when we pose"
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Directional "help" from the Sages
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As most everyone else melted away, the Curti lingered and with little encouragement beyond asking, the Bethany, Jane and Cate lured Erin and Clarice into playing 6 hands of Pounce . We also shot Jane's video segment for 13 Days of Sagemas which she was editing together and had made everyone else turn in days/a week earlier. We got home and shot Cate's 4 Days of Christmas Ghost bit as a family, retaining her Procrastinator in Chief title.
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POUNCE!
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The next day was the last of this year's Sagemas festivities with VanGwenJoe hosting and we got to enjoy their remodeled basement. There was a generally loose organization to the evening but the clusters of people enjoyed sharing family stories. The favorite story of the cousins/niblings was Why the Indy Sages never eat Tatter Tots. Julia won an Apples to Apples like game with the niblings and a few of the adults. As the cousins/grandkids have gotten older, the gift exchange has become less of an event and there isn't as much joy with gift cards as there were with toys, particularly the noisemaking ones from malicious Uncles/Aunts.
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Uncle Van explaining why the Indy Sages don't eat tatter tots (Note: the 3 folks laughing so hard their eyes are closed)
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Jane's second video edition of the 13 Days of Sagemas was the highlight of the evening. The Curti girls submissions were last minute submittals but were really the funniest bits, particularly the 4 Christmas Ghosts which was a full family idea and effort. The videos came be found here:
13 Days of Sagemas - 2022 Edition
13 Days of Sagemas - 2021 Edition
13 Days of Sagemas - 2021 Edition
13 Days of Sagemas - 2020 Edition
13 Days of Sagemas - 2019 Edition
13 Days of Sagemas - 2018 Edition
13 Days of Sagemas - 2017 Edition
13 Days of Sagemas - 2016 Edition
13 Days of Sagemas - 2015 Edition
In a similar vein,
Mele Kalikimaka by sung by Jane and Cate Curtis - 2012 Edition
New Year's in Pittsburgh
On Friday, we made a family road trip to Pittsburgh. Our first stop involved changing the windshield wipers on the Traverse as a family outside Skyline Chili in Dayton because Randy decided to it was best to wait to put them on until we REALLY needed them, like when it's raining outside (at least he knew to take off the protective sleeve off the rubber this year). We got to Kattie and Don's before 7 pm and spent the next 5 1/2 hours talking and snacking.
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Jane on New Years Eve
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On Saturday, we slept in until 930 when the alarm went off to go grab breakfast before complementary hotel offerings closed. We got to Kattie and Don's right before noon and staying for 13 1/2 hours. We chatted (grilled) Robert's fiancé Amanda for an hour or so when we arrived. They're moving in together in spring and will have 6 months together before the wedding in October. Decades ago living together before marriage would seem scandalous but now all were in agreement that it's a good idea.
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New Years Eve Cate
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Retirement really suits Don as he was the most relaxed and at ease version of himself. Katie is considering joining him but being good at what you do and needed by your colleagues is a powerful persuader to continue on. As usual, our visit was a non-stop, free flowing discussions about life, the universe and everything, sharing stories and thoughts about the events in our lives (e.g., Don's sister Barb's pending move to accommodate husband Steve's MS, Robert's engagement).
There was modest amounts of drinking by the girls and the rest of us. We didn't even bother to turn on the TV for a countdown to mark the transition to the New Year. It was merely an acknowledgment with obligatory hugs when it happened to briefly pause the conversation.
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New Years Day - Curti and Katie and Don
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New Year's day brought more of the same. Among Don's stories that came out, was to clearly hear that "When Don Met Katie" was at his first wedding when she was his best man's date. It's a great premise for a rom-com, if you gloss over the real world details before K&D' s wedding.
We hit the road the next morning and our trusting 2016 Chevy Traverse turned over 100,000 miles on the way back, a month and a half shy of its 7th year anniversary with us. The milestone allowed us to reflect on the places we've gone in it: 10% of the mileage was in Randy, Jane and Cate's 2019 trip to Alaska and back. Another 10% or so was on I-70 between STL and Pittsburgh (it's the halfway point to Worcester, MA). 5% of the Traverse's mileage was on Florida road trips. 3.5% of it was at the dealership as a service loaner.
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Che-verse 100,000 Milestone
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A few days later Jane flew back to Boston for C & D Terms at WPI. Cate would fly back to WSU a week later but not before binge watching the NETFLIX series of Wednesday with Dad. Thus ended our Holiday Break and the focus changed.
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Post-Surgey Cancer Treatments
With the family visits over and girls back as school, the main plot line of the Curti story in Winter 2023 would be Bethany's chemo treatments on Fridays. On 6 January Friday, Bethany met with the medical and radiation oncologists where they confirmed the treatment plan they suggested in November:
On Thursday the 12th, they would install a fusion port under the skin to eliminate the need for doing a needle stick every week.
Chemo therapy would start the next Friday (1/13/23) and would consist of 12 weekly treatments, every Friday morning, ending 3/31/23. The treatment consisted of the Chemo drug Taxol coupled with Herceptin to counter act her being HER2 receptor positive, The Herceptin treatment will continue every three weeks for a year.
Radiation will begin 3 - 4 weeks after chemo ends and probably consist of a month of treatments daily during the weekdays (20 visits in all)
There was some anxiety with the first treatment. On the first drive-in, we took note of the accidental SiriusXM playlist including: Lord's Prayer on the 70s on 7 (the #4 on the Billboard list Holy Week 1974, https://youtu.be/WlgT-Lj8-no). Neil Diamonds "I Am I Said" followed, which was not exactly on brand but Neil does bring an empowering and inspirational tone to his music that FELT uplifting and encouraging.
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Ready to start Chemo Treatment 1
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The rhythm of the chemo sessions varied somewhat but generally consisted of leaving home a half hour before Bethany's appointment and checking in at the MOBap Cancer Fusion Center. About 5 minutes after checking, a nurse would take her back to install hook up the infusion tubes to the subdermal port so she'd be ready for the infusion. They'd also do a blood draw to check her blood cell counts and other vital numbers, like potassium. The blood results which usually came back within an hour as we waited in the infusion center interior waiting area. At that point, we'd go back to the fusion treatment cubicles pods separated from others by pull downs screens. Once settled in with a pillow and warm blankets (a thoughtful touch), they began a flow of pretreatment meds (25 mg of Benadryl, Tylenol, a steroid, etc.) with a saline drip to ascertain her body would accept the actual drugs without issue. Then came the actual chemo treatment: an hour long drip for the 1192 mg bag of Taxol followed by a 30 minute Herceptin drip. With a quick flush and removal of the infusion tubing, we'd be on our way.
The first week went really well with minimal effects. A day later, Bethany began to feel nauseous but the anti-nausea meds they sent her home with dispatched it and would keep it under control when the feeling arose sporadically over the next twelve weeks.
Randy's 1 1/2 years of available sick leave bult up over 34 1/2 years, included family care, which allowed him to be with her during all her chemo treatments. He served as her water gopher, blanket straightener, pillow fluffer and infusion pump/regulator unplug and replug inner when she needed to go to the rest room. The pump had battery power and IV bags pole was on wheels but getting up and resettled while hooked up was a bit of a process and took care not to yank the tubes.
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In between sessions, we were home bodies, which was fine with the dogs. The was lots of British comfort TV like All Creatures Great and Small Season 3, along with binging other thing like: White Lotus Season 2, Three Pines, Roadkill, the sitcom Ghosts and Inspector Lewis. An episode or two of The Big Bang Theory usually topped things off, offering a whimsical humor before going to bed after harsher dramas.
Flat tire story - 2023
Randy's drive to the Metrolink station for his commute downtown on a raining Thursday in mid-January became a mini adventure as an 8-inch deep pothole ate the front passenger tire of the Kia Soul on Laclede Station Road across from Cousin Hugo's. He limped the car to Sunnen Station but had 20 minutes before the next eastbound train arrived so he went back to get a better look at the pothole. His grandmother's go to pothole quip that it was "Big enough to bury a dog in" was no exaggeration in this case (the reinforcing rebar for the concrete underlayment beneath the asphalt was exposed).
| Flat tire |
Deer Creek/Laclede Station Pothole |
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He went on into work to grab his laptop to telework around dealing with the car repairs but was quite the sight with his backside covered in mud after sliding down the shortcut path on the Mini Cooper dealer's hill walking to the Metrolink.
Returning to the Sunnen Metrolink station, AAA estimated an hour and 20 minute for a tow but a guy was right there after Randy hung up. The tow wasn't for him but rather for two other folks who called AAA before him needing a tow for flattened tires. If there weren't bad enough, the tow truck guy had already grabbed two cars BEFORE that that needed tows. Misery loves company :)
Fortunately, it was only the tire and not the wheel. Driving past the pothole later that morning, it was completely fixed and reportedly cops had been diverting traffic before that after "somebody" had called it in to the Maplewood Police at 6:30 am (my good deed of the day).
Chemo Treatment #2 offered the hiccup of a very low Potassium level that would bedevil Bethany for a number of weeks. When it was really low, they made her take 40 mg Potassium tablets in addition to her normal 40 mg tablet dose AND receive an infusion dosage of 20 or 40 mg of potassium. Since you can only safely infuse 10 mg of potassium each hour that added 2-4 hours to the treatment. It wasn't until about the halfway through chemo that Bethany developed a regime of juices and foods she wanted to eat that got her K levels above the infusion threshold. Chili cheese fries with avocadoes and tomatoes became a Thursday night staple for the last month or so chemo (purely for medicinal purposes though).
The Saturday after treatment #2, Bethany got her hair cut so she could donate as much of it as she could to Locks of Love. It also ended her fretting over the eventual hair loss that was coming. When she told the stylist why she was getting it cut and showed her the Ziploc bag to collect her ponytail of hair, the young, cheerful beautician, immediately was crestfallen and Bethany had to cheer her up: "Honey, It's OK. I'm going to be fine." Throughout chemo, Bethany would display such good natured optimism and resilience. She has been the best version of herself throughout.
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B sporty a sassy haircut and enjoying a Serendipity Dip cone (BOGO)
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The repeated check-ins from family and friend over the winter made a huge difference. We discouraged organized meal support, as we were fine making meals for ourselves, particularly at first when the chemo treatments barely affected her. Still it was touching to have folks drop by with their yummy personal soup and chili recipes, flower bouquets, or care packages through the mail. The ones after the initial few weeks were really appreciated (chemo is a marathon, not a sprint).
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Late January Snow at Tuxelia
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Bethany had been briefed that if she got sick from seasonal flu, a cold or COVID it would only mean that treatment would be delayed a week and she shouldn't be unnerved by her reduced immune system from the chemo treatments. We repeatedly asked the question about how wrecked her immune system would be and how vigorous our sickness avoidance protocols should be. The medical professionals replies came back in various shades of an ambiguous "Meh" that was unclear if it reflected reality, a standard optimistic cancer care giver attitude or desensitized nature. Either way Bethany decided she would do everything in her control not to have that happen. Two years of COVID prepped her for actively avoiding going out or being around people and what was three to four months during cancer treatments?
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Ready for 3rd Chemo treatment at the end of January
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Bethany sported a sassy haircut for couple of weeks but after treatment #3, she joked about being able to pull clumps of hair from all over her body without any pain. Playing the Odd / Evan game with her was definitely a bad idea (The "game" is a young man rite of passage while sitting around in shorts with your buddies. You rip a clump of leg hair out and ask them to guess if the number count is an odd or even number, then pretend to count them up, arriving at a number that matches their guess so they could "win".) After a week so of fretting when to cut it off, we got out the hair clippers out with a #2 clipper guard (1/4 inch) and buzzed it off. Randy wasn't as adept as the military recruit barbers but within 5 minutes she looked like she was ready to have a drill sergeant yell at her for any perceived deficiencies. Fortunately she had a selection of hats on hand, and a few gifted to her as well, as she immediately became aware of how much warmth her hair provided and she wore them all the time, including to bed through winter.
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Chemo Treatment 4
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We tried to walk everyday but cold temperatures or rain would dissuade it from being a daily ritual. Afternoon naps became a thing when we could.
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Elisabeth and Maria bringing us Ice Cream for Breakfast
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9 Feruary - Celebrating National Pizza Day with Pointers
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Dinner with the Lisses (at 3:30 pm to avoid anyone else being there)
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At Chemo Treatment #6, we were visited by the MOBAP resident music therapist. You haven't heard Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer (Ohhhh We're half way there, Ohhhh, living on a prayer..) until it's whispered sung to you by someone strumming on a guitar. It particularly touching as she was halfway done.
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Halfway There Celebration at Mod Pizza
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As we stayed at home most of the time, it seems we drifted through Winter 2023. Even when Randy left for a warm day in mid-February, he drifted going on a Meramec River Float trip with Charlie and Dr. Maggie from Onondaga to Blue Springs (really stretching the drift metaphor). This float on a warm winter weekend day has sort of become an annual event for Randy, Charlie and friends. Buying the pair of kayaks together in 2000 was arguably one of his best purchases ever. Passing the Eagle's nest and seeing the turtles were a treat as always.
| Putting in at Ondondoga |
Taking out a Blue Springs |
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Happy Presidents Day 2023
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Three months earlier in December 2022 on its 100th Anniversary, the James family that owned the beloved Hi Pointe theater quietly sold it. While sad, it went to Cinema St. Louis, which has been doing the STL International Film Festival for a couple decades and is dedicated to operating it as a not for profit repertory cinema. The first film on the big screen was the 2022 German version of All Quiet on the Western Front. With prodding that it wouldn't be too crowded on a Sunday at 5 pm in such a huge auditorium, we went to see what would win the Best Foreign Film Oscar. Looking forward to continued trips to our favorite cinema.
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Visiting the Cinema STL HiPointe Theater (with LOTS of space)
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March
On a warm Sunday in early March, Randy washed our plastic fence with a warm water and bleach mix to removing the green mung /mold that has discolored it. Have to consider it as a win as no police were called this time unlike two years earlier when he tried using the power washer to the dismay of the neighbor (a.k.a. The Wicked Witch of the East).
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Plastic Fencing cleaning with bleach
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Post Secret thought on the "good cancer" (While feeling fortunate and relief that B's cancers were very treatable, R was worried he crossed a line at times)
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Jane - 3rd Quarter at WPI
Keeping up with the stories of the girls has become significantly more difficult as we are spread across two thousand miles. While we get weekly or biweekly check-in video chats and there's social media posts it's not quite the same as being in the same hour. Also, philosophically how much should Dad be memorializing their story as they're on their own (except financially)
The big news for Jane in C Term was that she got a 10 hour a week job with the WPI Civil Environmental and Architectural Engineering (CEAE) Department as a student adim aide. While at the CEAE study area, a professor asked Jane to come with him rather ominously, only for it to turn out to be a job offer. Besides The $15/hour job was a boon to her finances but it also kept her busy, which has become clearer helps her be her best. It also provided lots of face time with her professors accomplishing easy things they need. Unexpected win as she is on a work study plan (and not so financially dependent on the folks). Also keeping her busy is Alpa Xi Delta which has become her main extracurricular outlet her Sophomore year. We are so glad this worked out because it almost didn't last year.
| Alpa Xi Delta formal with "electric" theme |
Worcester Railers hockey game with Lili and Ellie |
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For spring break, Jane and some of her sorority sisters (Liz, Hannah, Sarah, Paige, and Mya) rented an apartment in Montreal for a few nights and visited Mont Royale, the Olympic Stadium and went bar hopping because they were all of age there.
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"Spring" break in snowy Montreal
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Chemo Fusion 9
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Cate - Florida or Bust!
Making things harder to tell the offspring story is them not writing emails or captioning any shared photos. Having a minimal social media footprint (or at least one that she's not told her parents about anyway) also limits things. This translates to a cursory recounting of their doings, similar to years ago when they kept choosing not to be part of the family photo ops until they realized this resulted in them getting slighted in the blog for about half a year (hint, hint, hint). We did get a smattering of happy Cate pics from February though:
| Cate and Hailey at Walmart |
Cate with assorted friends |
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A week or so later came the Best Flight Delay Ever (on the adjusted personal level). Reading texts after work and Randy realized Cate's layover in St. Louis on her trip from Wichita to Orlando had stretched from just over an hour to 2 1/2 hours. This would be enough time to pop out and get dinner and get her back to the terminal with the short security lines in the evening if he hopped in the car right away. He picked her outside of the terminal 9 minutes after the plane touched down. While there not lots of great choices on the south side of the airport for dinner, they were both happy with Impossible Whoppers from Burge Kings on St. Charles Rock Road. The downsize was she got into Orlando even later than expected and Amy and Alvan didn't get back to their home in the Villages from picking her up, until after 12:30 pm.
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Impossible Whoppers on the Rock Road (and it wasn't even on a $3 Whopper Wednesday)
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Cate's spent a relaxing week with her grandparents tooling around in the golf cart and enjoying the fauna from a distance.
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Cate gator spoting from the safety of a golf couse (alligator is the dark lineation on the edge of the pond in the distance)
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Going to the live music concerts in the town square were more fun than expected and although the just missed the live mermaid show, they still had fun goofing around the grounds of the Weeki Wachee Springs.
| Enjoying an "oldies" concert at the Villages town square |
Wikii Watchtee Mermaids? |
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Randy's dad Ron performing leprechaun duties of passing out treats at Cypress Ridge for St. Pats
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Chemo Thursday Night Dinner: Chilli Cheese fries with avocadoes (a.k.a. Big Ol' Plate of Potassium)
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We have pretty good insurance (Federal Blue Cross / Blue Shield) but all the medical exams and treatments came with massive copays for the first few months until we spent $8K and then Bethany's drugs and procedures were free. Fortunately we have insurance and reserves to cover the copays. Still, we couldn't help thinking what if we didn't, like so much of America? There would have been heavy borrowing and/or possible/likely bankruptcy. At the very least serious amounts of stress. Feeling very fortunate.
