2008 Year End Musings from the Curtises
I got up, knowing sleep won’t return after lying awake for a half an hour after being awoken by Cate’s request for a glass of water. My To Do list drums in my head, among them writing the family’s Christmas Card letter, despite the fact we (Bethany) sent the cards out more than a week ago. Like most families, in ours one person generally gets the task of writing the Christmas Card letter (or Year end Brag sheet depending on your feelings about such things). This has happily been my “thing” going back to college. My efforts peaked in the late 1990s when I had more free time to reflect back on the year and cobble some statement together about the meaning. The last few years it has become more of a chore. It’s hard to meet the previous standard and the stringing together of accomplishments, travels and events highlighting the year has become another must do burden of the season, in direct contradiction of what its suppose to be all about.
“I think there must be something wrong with me Linus. Christmas is coming but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m suppose to feel. I just don’t understand Christmas I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that but I’m still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.”
Placing the soundtrack by Vince Guaraldi on while I write puts me in a much better place as it always does. This time the juxtaposition of the music playing while thinking about my feelings versus how I’m suppose to feel, it dawns on me that the score does supply a mood of grace and peace I’ve been seeking but keep missing from the noise of life.
Although not religious, I’ll end with “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” playing in my mind with dreams of friends and family joining together in a shared community of mankind.
I’m unaware of a truer summation of my feelings about Christmas than the opening lines “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. My general mood going into the holidays always seems out of sync with how I’m suppose to feel. The shows themes of excessive commercialism and materialism, holiday trappings, snarky relations with others and misplaced priorities contrast with the sense of grace, hope, peace and joy that we’re suppose to have.
It’s been a good, albeit busy year for the Curtis clan filled with the joys and tribulations of raising a 4 and a 6-year-old girl. I know it’s a cop-out, but I can’t bring myself to summarize it in a 1-2 page letter. If you have interest, breeze through the pictures on the web site for the last 4 quarters and skip the ramblings. It does a better job than words in expressing things.
Peace on earth and mercy mild. God and sinners reconciled,
Bethany, Jane & Cate
(along with Maddie and Lilly)
