On August 5 2002 at 1:17 pm, Bethany gave birth to our wonderful baby daughter, Jane Amélie Curtis, at Missouri Baptist Hospital. She was 7 pounds 2 oz and 20 inches long, with light brown hair.
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Bethany and Randy with Jane at about the 6 hour point
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Although a bit on the early side (25 days ahead of schedule), both mother and baby did wonderfully, with no
identifiable ill effects for coming early. That is unless you want to count on all the "character building" weeks of increasing aches and swollen features that Bethany missed out on. Given the joyful outcome, we decided to put the spin on the early arrival, that what takes most women 9 months to do, Bethany did more efficiently in only 8.
Both mother and daughter came home after the regular 48 hours insurance allowable stay. We provided more of the details and pictures below (and really that's why you are reading this now, isn't it?).
(includes lots of details (~1,400 words), but only occasionally hits the TMI point)
It was a "normal " delivery, which in this case means, 46 hours followed by another 10 in the hospital. Latent labor contractions started Saturday afternoon about 5 o'clock. Bethany knew these were actual contractions because she'd been having them intermittently for a week or so. When she had her last OB/GYN visit the previous Wednesday, they hooked her up to the monitor and told her the odd "baby movements" were actual contractions (the monitor showed nice smooth bumps signaling the contractions over time. ). They also determined that she was 2 cm dilated during her visit, so we weren't completely surprised it was coming early but still we thought we had a week or two. Anyway, we dutifully started recording the time between and duration of the contractions, as we hurriedly scampered around the house packing for the hospital (at least we already had a list prepared) and washing all the new baby clothes. We weren't panicking as we had read enough books to now what to expect and knew to delay going
to the hospital as long as possible, so you didn't have to wait around there for hours. Still events had certainly taken on a surreal quality. By 9 PM, the contractions were 3 minutes apart and were lasting 75 seconds; "by the book" it seemed clear that we should go to the hospital. Somewhere during all of this Bethany started breathing like a pro, doing it exactly like in the classes we took, even though we never did it right before as should would crack up every time she'd look at Randy. Although not as frazzled as in the movies, Bethany did tell Randy to slow down a couple times on the way over (usually it's the other way around).
Arriving at the Missouri Baptist Natal unit, they escorted us into one of the triage rooms and hooked Bethany up to the monitors. At the doctor's office on Wednesday, the monitor's graph had nice smooth bumps; this time, the monitor occasionally showed the contractions but too often showed nothing, just a flat line no matter how much readjusting of the sensor we did. Even though we (and the hospital staff) knew the contractions were regular and of significant length, it was very disheartening to feel like your insides are being kicked out and have some smart ass little graph mock you by implying you're making it all up. It didn't help that Bethany remained 2 cm dilated. 5-6 hours of contractions and things hadn't
officially moved along since earlier in the week. We also suspected that the nurse wasn't taking us too seriously either, though given 4 weeks ahead of schedule and that Bethany's water hadn't broken, perhaps this was understandable. Besides we were looking for reasons for our frustrations and to be annoyed. They unhooked Bethany and had us walk around the hallways of MO Bap for an hour. Afterwards, they hooked her back up and rechecked the dilation but it was still 2 cm. Serious discouragement! They gave Bethany a sleeping pill so she'd be able to sleep through the contractions and we left at 1:20 AM Sunday morning.
Bethany slept until about 10 AM and was still having contractions, as she would all Sunday. We had planned to go with the Sunday Dinner Group to see "The Cmplt. Wks. Of Wm. Shksp. (abr)". at the Grendal Theatre and return to our house for Greek food but decided that wasn't going to work. We had decided beforehand not to tell anyone that we were going to the hospital or give them a clue that the time was near, particularly our families. We had heard too many tales of daylong vigils in the waiting room, that seemed pointless and just another bit of pressure knowing people were waiting on us to get on with it. After the previous night's run around, we were glad for our decision and planned on keeping it up. Bethany
encouraged Randy to keep their plans as best as he could, as there really wasn't any changes. With cell phone in hand, Randy got his sister Rhonda to fill in at the theatre and moved the dinner to another person's house, citing that Bethany's feet were swollen and she wasn't feeling up to going (an understatement but it worked).
Upon Randy's return at 6:30 PM, the contractions continued at about the same rate and intensity. We were both wondering how long this would last. About 9:45 the contractions started getting worse, so we began recording them in earnest again. By about 11:30 PM we were doing laps around the first floor of the house much to the bemusement of the cats and dog. The intensity of the contractions kept getting worse but after the previous night, we were in no hurry to return the hospital. When Bethany was almost in tears when they came, it seemed clear that we were ready.
It's 1 AM Monday and back in the natal triage room at MO Bap. The monitor is hooked up and the nurse checks the dilation: STILL 2 cm. (!!!) As far as they were concerned nothing had progressed. A very incredulous, weary, disappointed and downhearted Bethany suggested we try walking around the halls for an hour again hoping the baby would drop some more and move the dilation along. We didn't talk much as we roamed the empty halls again. We were both wondering if this was all in vain again. The contractions were really harsh and Bethany was relying on Randy for support each time. When we got back to the triage room at 2:50 AM, we were hoping for the best but fearing that they would send us home and Bethany wasn't sure she could take another day or more or this.
They hooked her up to the monitor and once again, the contraction output reading was irregular (and unreliable as more than one nurse reassured us). This was the worst point of the labor as our spirits were bottoming out. Fortunately, they know the monitors aren't all that reliable and still checked the dilation. Happily, the walking did the trick and she was now at 3.5 cm.--YAY!!! They admitted us into LDR [Labor, Delivery and Recovery] Room 7. The look of relief on Bethany's face and the lightening of her mood was incredible. Sure there was pain, but there was an end in sight.
Things progressed fairly straight forward from that point on. By 5:30am she had already reached between 4.5 - 5 cm and the epidural was ordered. It took a bit more than usual local anesthesia due to Bethany's super nerve endings (as evidenced by the line of 6 injection marks down her back!) but after the epidural drip was in, she no longer felt the contractions and was feeling pretty good (repeat after me, "The epidural is our friend!"). They broke her water at 7:30 AM and started a pitocin drip (a drug to increase the speed of labor) at 9:30am. There was a little vomiting as a side effect of the epidural but if there's one practical aspect of years of life in a fraternity at Rolla, it is that Randy is fully prepared to cheerfully handle such things.
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Bethany after the epidural (and I didn't even have to coax the smile out of her)
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By 11 AM she was at 9 cm and the nurse thought we still had another hour or so to go and encouraged Randy to get some lunch. He brought his 3 sides of vegetables from the cafeteria to eat in the room, which brought on another wave of nausea and vomiting (a similar event occurred in a hotel room last January in Chicago; some lessons take more than once to stick). At 1240, she was at 10 cm and fully effaced. The doctor was called in and they started a set of practice pushes during a contraction. The one set made it clear that it would only take a few of these, so they had Bethany stop pushing and wait for a half an hour until the doctor came in. This wasn't as annoying as it sounds with the epidural taking care of the pain aspects. After Dr. Hogan arrived, it only took about 5 minutes of actual pushing, and out Jane came whoosh! Randy got to cut the cord and then the nurses whisked Jane off to the other side of the room to get cleaned up and the happy parents shared tears of joy.
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Jane's weighing in and obligatory "nudie" picture to embarrass her later on (that yellow thing is the belly button clamp)
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Both baby and mother looked great and the whole thing (once we were admitted) went better than expected. It wasn't until days later that Randy realized that the epidural had denied him the joys of some serious cursing at by the mother as shown on all the sitcoms and movies. Did we say that the epidural was your friend?
The standard 48-hour post delivery stay at Mo Baptist was fairly pleasant. Bethany had a private maternity room and the staff took care of our every need, generally before we even knew we needed something. The staff and the super nice LDR rooms made for a great experience overall!
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Randy holding Jane in the first hour
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Janie's first visit by family - Aunt Rhonda
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Bethany holding Jane
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We were fortunate to have visits from all our in-town family on Monday and Tuesday, with some showing up both days. It was good to see them sharing in our joy and we enjoyed their company thoroughly. On the downside, between their visits and those of the hospital staff, it made for a fairly steady stream of people and we weren't alone for more than 15 minutes from 9 am to 9 pm on Tuesday. We both could have really used a nap sometime in there. Perhaps this is why they used to have more firm visiting hours lasting only a couple of hours in the past.
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Three Generations - Amy, Bethany and Janie
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Janie with some of the Sage Clan (Gramy, Gral, Lisa, Van, Rosemary & Bethany)
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Jane with Uncle Micah
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7 August 2002 - Packed up and ready to Go Home
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Bringing Janie home in the car was fairly uneventful but it was rather surprising, albeit not unexpected that we drove slower and were more critical and concerned about other people's driving. It could be that there just happened to be more morons on the road at that moment, but more likely the overly protective parent switch has been flicked and we're now one of THEM.
As we mentioned beforehand, we were a little apprehensive introducing Maddie to the newborn, as she has happily been the center of Bethany's maternal affection for years. We had followed recommendations about bringing a blanket that Janie had slept in so that the pets could get use to her smell. When we presented it to Maddie to sniff, she was clearly less interested in it than any of the new baby gear she's been very insistent about smelling as it's come in.
As it turns out, our fears were unfounded and Maddie has acted as a nurturing mother's little helper from the start. During the first night, she appears to have stayed awake most of the time, keeping watch and making sure we both were awake during any disturbances (not an easy task for Bethany with her heavy sleeping and bad left ear). Maddie has continued these efforts during the day, and when Janie starts to cry in her bassinet, she is the first one there, joining in with her barking to let us know that something is amiss.
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Maddie checking on Janie in the crib
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That leaves the cats. As near as we can tell Bert Brazil are doing their best to seem like they could not care less. This isn't actually the case but an artful display of denial as can be observed when you plop Janie inches from Brazil's face and her eyes avert to anything else but the baby in front of her (She did the same thing to Maddie for months, so we not really surprised there).
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Brazil and Jane
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Yes, no and sort of. PS> The pictures do NOT correlate with the text!
Bethany's definitely had the biggest adjustments, as she has had through the whole process. Besides the well-known adaptation you have to make to sleep in 3-4 hour intervals, the real revolution has been the breastfeeding. Bethany was fairly clued in, but Randy has been most amazed at the amount of time it takes to actually do it. It takes as much time to do that as most 8-hour a day jobs. It's clear where the wet nurse concept for the well-to-do came from in the past. While not particularly skilled labor or unpleasant, how much would you have to pay someone to put in nearly 45 minutes to an hour, 8-10 times a day around the clock? How much would someone have to pay YOU to do that (assuming you had the equipment)? We can see why it no longer exists in our economy. Perhaps the economics of it are the biggest contributing factor to wet nurses falling out of social fashion more than anything else.
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Janie on a quilt
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During the second week, Bethany discovered the joys (?) of the breast pump. Without getting into the graphic details of how it works (one's imagination fills it in fairly accurately), it does offer her a great deal of freedom to be away from Janie for more than a couple of hours at a time or to sleep late and let her early rising husband handle the AM nursing chores on weekends with bottled BM (Breast Milk…what were you thinking?).
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Bethany and Jane asleep
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Although somewhat perverse, the thought occurred to us that her reaction to breast milk is much like an addict's. She constantly craves the stuff during her waking hours. She gets verbally agitated and physically frantic when it's time to get her next fix. After a point, NOTHING else will settle her but when she does get the fix, she immediately calms down and soon drifts off into a peaceful haze that isn't quite sleep. This is usually accompanied by a certain amount of drooling of the Ecru Colored Liquid Ambrosia (ECLA). We wonder if there's a 12-step program but doubt it since she can't say Mama or Da-Da yet much less, "Hello my name is Jane and I'm Breastmilk-aholic."
The other odd thing about breastfeeding is that Janie frequently falls asleep while it's going on and we have to wake her up. As recommended this usually involves de-swaddling her from the blanket and taking off "onesie" so she's next to naked (and cold). We've had visions that this was a sign of things to come and we would have a teenage daughter who would have to get naked in order to eat.
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Jane asleep in the bassinet on her first day Home
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As for the "swaddling", in case you haven't experienced it, newborns like to be wrapped as tightly as possible in a blanket and will get fussy if their limbs wiggle free. It's amazing to be able to calm her down just by restraining her in a blanket. This led to more perverse thoughts about a potential future with our daughter needing to be placed in a strait jacket to stop her from fussing. The fears of parenthood come quickly.
In the first couple weeks, Janie has had lots of visitors, including out of town family, more friends, the neighbors, the Sunday Dinner Group, and of course the grandparents on a number of occasions. Here are some pictures (though it's hardly a comprehensive):
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10 August 2002 Bethany with Tyler, Erin and Katie Sage (and Bert)
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10 August 2002 - Justin, Jenny, Janie, Tyler, Clarice and Barry Sage
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15 August 2002 - Alex & Kathy with Jane
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15 August 2002 - Elisabeth and Janie
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18 August 2002 - Neighbor Charlie with Jane
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21 August 2002 - Grandma Nana and Jane
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30 August 2002 - Two Janes: Curtis and Hammond
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26 August 2002 - Snack time with Shelia and Young Steven
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31 August 2002 - Kent and Jane
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31 August 2002 - A visit from Lesha, Anthony, Alex and Amanda Hageman Holmes and Curtis Clan
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Sept 1 2002 - Aunt Katie and Uncle Don holding Jane
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Sept 1, 2002 - Miss Pattie & Aunt Katie with Jane
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Touching base on the on the standard questions:
Diapers- no big deal and certainly not worse than scooping kitty litter at this point.
Sleep deprivation - it hasn't been too bad yet. Janie is pretty much asleep when she isn't eating. She really only gets fussy when it's time to eat or is unrestrained.
Pacifier - Janie is in a pacifier-free zone for now. Thanks to shower gifts, we do have a strategic supply of Binkies, just in case we change our minds at 2:37 AM some
desperate morning, but we're going to make a go of it without them, hoping she learns to satisfy her sucking urges on her own.
Appearances - Who does she look like? Bethany thinks she favors Randy, based on the lighter hair color and other facial features. Randy can't see any strong resemblance to either family, but then again he never can for newborns (although Janie does have moments of her mother's gentle sneer). Randy tends to agree with the old humorous observation that all babies look like Winston Churchill. Look at the picture below and read over the following in your mind with Churchill's voice and see if you don't agree:
"...we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender..."
We'll that's certainly more than you want to know. Stay tuned for further oratory meanderings as we continue to shuffle off our self-absorbed, Sienfeld-esque lives for a more pure and noble existence of Parenthood,
Much Love,
Bethany and Randy
RBJC Curtis Family Front Page
Introducing Jane Amélie
The Pregnancy December 2001 to August 2002
